Happy Birthday, Medea

Dear, sweet, tenacious, powerful, funny, smart, beautiful daughter,
I’ve avoided writing this because I fear the myriad emotions that will accompany it. I worry that I am unable to bear the weight of countless unnameable BIG FEELINGS. However, this is not the example I want to be, so here I am writing even though I am scared.
Today, February 25th, 2013, is your eleventh birthday. Eleven years ago, when I was pregnant, I tried to imagine what you’d be like. I thought you might like princesses, flowers and the color pink, so I picked out dresses in pink and purples– Turns out…I was the proud mother of a daughter who insisted on sleeping with a hockey puck under her pillow and who wanted to be Darth Vader when she grew up.
I never knew you’d be so moody, stubborn and impatient, though I should have seen that coming, given the way you came into this world. You waited two weeks past the day you were due and then the day before we had you scheduled to be induced, you decided that was your moment and you’ve been full steam ahead ever since.. It breaks my heart to be away from you l, mostly because I remember how I felt when you were born. I’m always afraid I’m going to lose you.
No matter how many birthdays you have, you will always be my beautiful, impatient, crabby little girl. No matter how old you get, I’ll always be here to take care of you and make sure get all the hugs you need. I stand amazed at the mature young woman you are becoming. You still have lots of “little girl play” left in you, and I kind-of hope you never lose that. 🙂 Your innocence is radiating.
When I look at you, I see my own eyes looking back at me. They are thoughtful, ambitious, spontaneous and quick to find the good in others. I can only hope you learn to find the good in yourself. People will disappoint you. It’s in their nature. It’s the ones who disappoint you, own up to it, apologize and never do it again that are worth keeping around. At the same time, be careful with whom you choose to associate and don’t be so naïve to believe that you can trust just anyone. Make others prove their worthiness to be trusted as anyone of sound mind will ask of you. Be someone people can rely on, but don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of either. Stand up for yourself and for those who cannot stand up for themselves. Always remember that true beauty is not found in body-size, makeup, clothing, or accessories….True beauty comes from a genuine will to do good, and an unselfish love for others.
Above all else, remember you are loved. Even though we can’t be together today, you are surrounded by people who would each give their own lives to protect you and keep you safe. None of us want to see you fall, fail or get hurt. Your family is forever.You are my daughter. You are love and all things good in my heart. When you hurt, I hurt. When you have joy, I have joy.
Happy birthday baby. I love you…forever.

Love,
Mommamedea bday pic

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