In my life, I have constantly been trying to please someone else– my teachers, my employers, my family, my friends, the world in general—but now, I want to please me. If my attitude, or my figure or my mentality bothers you, I’m done apologizing. Get over it. I’ve found the “Strength, Courage and Wisdom” that has been inside of me, and I am finally accepting myself for who and what I am. I don’t ask you to do the same; I just ask that you respect my decision.
I think I am finally at a place in my life where I am comfortable in my skin, and at peace with myself. I think that my being at peace makes others uncomfortable, in that because they find fault with the way I look or the way I act and think, that I should as well.
I am a fickle person. I own that. I change my mind constantly, and you know what?? It’s OK! I can do that. I don’t have to stay on one course forever. I can add spice and flair to my life, if I decide to. Just because I liked computers and gaming last year, doesn’t mean that I like it today. Just because I love shopping, and fashion and beautiful things today, doesn’t mean that I will next year. The ability to change your mind, your passions, and your desires is a truly amazing gift, which I put to good use.
I have dreams. Most are unrealized but I have them nonetheless. I want to write, to travel, to teach, to learn, to craft, to relax, to breathe. Some days, I want to do one more than another, but eventually I will get to them all. Just because your path lead you straight and directly to your dreams, doesn’t mean that mine will. Asking me what I want to do with my life doesn’t help. I don’t know yet, and I think that is OK too. I don’t know today, but I might tomorrow. I thought I knew a year ago, but it’s changed. I don’t mind. I know I signed up for school and I’m super excited now, but who knows a year from now… and I am OK with that.
“I close my eyes and I think of all the things that I want to see
‘Cause I know, now that I’ve opened up my heart I know that
Anything I want can be, so let it be, so let it be”
(India Arie “Strength Courage Wisdom”)